Fire, Ice, and Originality

Last weekend, January 8th-January 11th, I went on a winter retreat with my church. It was this crazy thing where you get to spend three whole days away from the rest of the world and just hang out at church camp for a weekend. We had tons of fun, ate lots of food, and messed around.

On a more serious note, one of the adults running the camp asked us how close we really are to God on a scale of one to ten. Ten being like..on "fire" and one being like "ice." Thus, the theme of this whole retreat was "Fire and Ice."

At the beginning of the weekend, my relationship with God was like a five. By Sunday afternoon, that number had moved up to about a seven or eight. It's amazing what three days can change.

I hope that you didn't close out this blog already, because I was just getting to the whole point of this post. And the point is this:

For those three days, I didn't have to be anyone but myself. There was no one looking down upon me or critiquing every little thing I do. No, I got to be completely carefree for three days. How often do you get to say that? I know I never do. Until I went to church camp. It was a lot different than I thought it would be. And I ended up having way more fun than I thought I would.

I find that at school, around friends, or even at theatre, when I am around people that are practically family, I have to pretend to be someone else. Someone I don't want to be. But I'm too afraid. Too afraid to show who I really am. Because whenever I have before, I have gotten judged beyond my control. And it kind of sucks. No one likes to be judged.

I don't want to be you.
I don't want to be her.
I don't want to be him.
I don't want to be them.

I want to be ME.

"Its not easy to be me." -Five for Fighting