Resolutions

I know it's a little late, but I really wanted to make resolutions this year. Since I never do. We will see how this year goes. Last year I forgot my resolutions halfway into 2009.

-Be a better sister, daughter, friend, and girlfriend.
-Figure out a way to take the classes I want as well as the ones I am required to take.
-Get an A in Feeder's class on at least one progress report.
-Attend church regularly.
-Improve on my singing (a lot).
-Grow closer to God.
-Read books regularly.

Smiling.

I would say some cool and inspiring quote to catch your attention with this, but I won't since it probably won't be read by all five of you anyways.

The other day, I was having a really rough time. Back to school, homework, getting up early, and all the other stress.

I was walking to sixth period after lunch feeling tired, upset, stressed....just not having a good day.

Then my friend (who I barely ever talk to anymore) randomly just.....smiles at me while I walk to my class and she walks to hers. Something that she never does. And I smiled back.

That smile from my friend really made my day. In fact, it made my whole week.

So there's the lesson. Smile, because it will effect people positively.

Why is it.....

I have had little to no drama in my life. Mostly because I tend to stay out of it. And I like it that way. Drama just seeks to cause problems in people's lives. So why start it?

But what I've come to realize about drama is...

Why is it...
that the majority of drama I have actually experienced in my life...has something to do with you?

I don't like it. Leave me alone. Just stop. You're not helping anyone.

Thanks goes out to the few people who have helped me turn this around.

Assumptions.

We all have them.
We all think our assumptions are right.
It's how we were built to think.
One of the many flaws of being human.
Assuming.
Assuming we know everything there is to know about a particular subject.
When we assume, or at least when I do, I don't take the time to find out if it's really true or not.
And neither do you.
Neither does anyone.
Whether you think you do or not, you DON'T.
No one does.
We just "know" were right.

However, most of the time, our assumptions are WRONG.

And I'll admit it.

Deleted.

For you, my friend.

Fire, Ice, and Originality

Last weekend, January 8th-January 11th, I went on a winter retreat with my church. It was this crazy thing where you get to spend three whole days away from the rest of the world and just hang out at church camp for a weekend. We had tons of fun, ate lots of food, and messed around.

On a more serious note, one of the adults running the camp asked us how close we really are to God on a scale of one to ten. Ten being like..on "fire" and one being like "ice." Thus, the theme of this whole retreat was "Fire and Ice."

At the beginning of the weekend, my relationship with God was like a five. By Sunday afternoon, that number had moved up to about a seven or eight. It's amazing what three days can change.

I hope that you didn't close out this blog already, because I was just getting to the whole point of this post. And the point is this:

For those three days, I didn't have to be anyone but myself. There was no one looking down upon me or critiquing every little thing I do. No, I got to be completely carefree for three days. How often do you get to say that? I know I never do. Until I went to church camp. It was a lot different than I thought it would be. And I ended up having way more fun than I thought I would.

I find that at school, around friends, or even at theatre, when I am around people that are practically family, I have to pretend to be someone else. Someone I don't want to be. But I'm too afraid. Too afraid to show who I really am. Because whenever I have before, I have gotten judged beyond my control. And it kind of sucks. No one likes to be judged.

I don't want to be you.
I don't want to be her.
I don't want to be him.
I don't want to be them.

I want to be ME.

"Its not easy to be me." -Five for Fighting

I believe.

"Faith is believing in something when common sense tells you not to." -Fred Gailey (Miracle on 34th Street).

It is true. We all have things we believe in and don't believe in. For example, most people over the age of seven do not believe in Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, etc. All my life, I thought this was a pretty reasonable statement. Then one day, my friend Vicki (who is twice my age) says to me, "I still believe in Santa Clause, I just think that his name isn't Kris Kringle and he doesn't live in the North Pole and drive a sleigh and all that crap."

I was astounded. At first I thought she was kidding, because she tends to joke around a lot, and we were in a show about proving Santa Clause was real (and by the end of the show, he is). But Vicki wasn't joking. She was dead serious. She even has a shirt that says "I still believe in Santa." I thought it was really cool. My friend then proceeded to tell me that she thinks the man who played Santa in our show was the real Santa Clause, then told me why.

I thought about it, and I believe her. For sure. I was shocked at the similarity. And I never thought I would believe in something like that. But sure enough, I am here to tell you about it.

Just goes to show you that sometimes you have to look beyond what your mind tells you and believe in something surreal. It makes life more interesting if you do.

I have learned over a coarse of four months, September-December 2009, to have faith in things and to believe. I thought it would be nice to blog about it, hopefully people who read this will think about it, and become inspired to believe as well. I'm not saying that there really is or isn't a Santa Clause, just to keep an open mind about it all.

"I believe, I believe, I believe. Oh I believe. All will be forgiven." -Spring Awakening.

New.

-Schedule
-Teachers
-Goals
-Accomplishments
-Music
-Shows
-People
-Outlook

New year.

Happy 2010.